Grace Upon Grace...and Then Some

With how crazy my life has been these past many months, my brushes have sat pretty lonely in their Cafe Bustelo coffee can. And...a daunting task, I moved out of my art room and transformed my dining room into my new work space, which honestly, was a good move, more glorious sunshine!

Even though we are trying to navigate though some pretty hard situations in our life, I just needed to get my hands messy and CREATE.  I've been itching to try a few new different veins of art, studying different artists, viewing YouTube videos of different mediums, techniques and such.  But, to not stress myself out, I started this piece by going down the same avenue.  It's me.  It's those comforting "go to colors" than bring peace, happiness.  It's wax, paint, a few loved collage photos.

I know "different" will come one day, 

but this day, 

I needed familiar.

The circles, or rather stones, represent grace. I have been really feeling the grace of God over these months, going on a year.  Our life has been a roller coaster, now being the downward rush, now being extremely challenging on so many fronts.  I don't look forward to these times in life...I love the upward climb, where you can see for miles, see hope.  But during this time when the rickety cart flies wildly down the track and you don't know if it's going to jerk right or left and you feel like you're going to fly out, that steady and familiar grace, it's there, like the stones, piled upon each other.  Grace upon grace, and then some.  There's always enough, more than we need.  This piece reminds me of that.  It keeps before me that thought, that whatever we are faced with in this life of uncertainty, hardship, loss, heartache, He is there with capable and steady hands that hold us up and keeps hope alive in our hearts, being assured that their WILL BE that assent again. And I praise Him for that!!  

HOPE 

I put a little scene of old timey Port City Wilmington on the painting, always sneaking something dear to my heart that's beachy or  having to do with the sea on my work.  

It's in me so it always emerges here.  

 So much texture!!

 Thank you Hannah!! 

My dear friend and a fellow artist gave me this board which already had a good amount of texture on it, so me adding some more of my own paint and wax caused it to emerge into a beautiful piece, one I really love! 

Here are a few photos so you can see how textured this painting is.  I just love to run my hands over ones like this, adding another layer of pleasure to what I create. For me, it's not all about the visual aspect, I enjoy invoking more of our senses.

Happy Saturday!!

May you feel true peace & grace today wherever the road of life takes you. 

Giving Her Away

This girl, now a beautiful woman,

is one of the most dear treasures that my husband and I have been entrusted with 

on this earth. 

Last month, we had the privilege 

of giving her away, 

to the man of her dreams.

 I feel so incredibly blessed that my daughter and I have had a close relationship, a bond that has grown more secure and deep over each joy shared, with each phone call home while being so far away and feeling homesick or facing critical challenges, with the moments that only a good cry would help, or a prayer session that was badly needed, 

over coffee, pizza, 

singing loud in the car, births & deaths, 

and God moments...

these all have formed us 

and I wouldn't trade even one, 

for it has made us who we are, and I feel, 

it is so good. 

 I am grateful. 

I cherish this woman. 

Who is this man, that has captured her heart?  Is he good, will he protect her, will he encourage her to go hard after the Lord, will he cherish little things like giving pretty flowers, and remember special dates? Will he listen, and laugh, and talk, give her space when she needs it, 

will he love her only after the Lord...

with all his heart?

This man, this new person that will now stand by her side, as her dad, 

with a tear in his eye, 

slowly steps back and lets her go...

This man, we can say "yes!", for he is that gift from God that we have prayed for, ever since this woman was a wee babe in my womb, to be the "one" that was created for her. 

This new union, 

brings so much happiness to our hearts.

It has caused our big beautiful family to grow a bit more.

We have endured, loved, added, fought, cried, rejoiced and overcome.

Now...we celebrate, this sweet 

coming together. 

...and we rejoice in a new family formed, a new friendship which has started the process 

of growing long lasting roots.  How blessed we are to have these wonderful, 

God-loving and fun people in our lives!

The Joy of the Little Ones!

And we love a good party! 

We have fun, this family, with loud laughing, hugs, and just being down right crazy.

And when it's come to an end, 

rather, just a new beginning, 

we can smile, because we know that what we have been given, is rich and full of a special kind of love, that only seems to get 

better with time.  

How blessed we are!

The Zucchini Bread Rebellion

When this certain song comes on in the car, I sing loud, for this is one of my
greatest desires and I want it the anthem
of my life...

"As we grow old, may it be told, 

that we never lost our flame".  

Over the passed few months, I've noticed with much aching, that passion has grown cold in my heart.  Certain passions that I have desired for all of my "saved life", ones that at various times would make my heart burn with such intensity, wanting them to stick around forever.  A few of them are the intense fire of the Lord, a drive to be right in the center of his will, to see and do all that He is asking me to do in this life, and to witness the awesome fruit that they would produce.  Isn't this what He created me, or really all of us, to hunger for and do?  Isn't this the greatest thing we could possibly attain in this life, to be so completely absorbed by Him that we couldn't help but look and smell and act like the very essence of Him?  God I want that....but why oh why, does that desire rise and fall like the surety of each and every tide?  I need it to stay, and I need to know how to do that. I need that passion to come back, and never leave.

I've had it stuck in my head that just maybe, some great adventure to a far away land or the next big avenue that the Lord was going to hopefully take us down, would be the key to arousing and producing this passion, and that "thing", whatever it was, should be the center of His will.  Well, could it be, that where I'm at right now, truly be that place I've been so longing for...in the day-to-day living, in a rental community that I swore "I could never live in", in grocery shopping days, or helping family members in times of need, or the many other seemingly mundane things we do, be found to hold the satisfaction, passion, and the place of knowing I AM exactly in the center of His will?  

And now can't you just see how this all correlates to a delicious loaf of homemade zucchini bread?!??  Well, I'm beginning to see, ever so slowly, that maybe, just maybe, this joy will come in knowing that ALL aspects of life, can hold what my heart so desperately is longing for.  But, there's a BIG IF with that, IF we are obedient to do what the Holy Spirit calls us to do, no matter how small or insignificant or crazy it might look and sound.

Brave Love...this is easy!

Last November, I went to a conference with my daughter out in sunny California called Brave Love. It was incredible to say the least.  One of the exercises was to ask God what He wanted Brave Love to look like in each of our lives, you know, ask him what He wanted us to do, big or small, grand or not.  I got two things right away, to start a blog...hence this one, that I could be real and raw about life and God.  Bam, done.  The second, was to bake a loaf of zucchini bread for my neighbor.  Not a hard one!  I loved to bake and be nice to people. Another Bam...lol, or so I thought.  

Through some happenings, a very bad incident occurred which caused our neighbor to turn on us, very badly turn.  The kind where you feel you just got sucker punched, all in front of our grand kids, who in turn cried horribly due to fear. Shock, disbelief.  Ha!!...There goes the zucchini bread idea.  Well, let me just tell you, God doesn't ask you to do something just when things are all fluffy and nice. Sometimes He requires it when it's uncomfortable and really goes against your flesh. 

So did I bake that nice loaf of bread and rush it right over to her??  Heck no!!  Me in all my stubbornness and bit of fear, refused. I would reassure myself with, "I mean how could I now?? Things are now so bad between us!" So December came, then January, February...and now it's May.  

This passed week, I went to a Jesus Culture concert and a question was asked, "Is there anything standing between you and God...any walls?"  Well again, like the hundred others times, God said those two repetitive words, "Zucchini Bread".  I KNEW I had to do this. What this all really boiled down to, was disobedience.  This was the wall that was in the way, of me having that JOY and PASSION for the life that God was trying to give me, and have that life not in the "next big adventure", but in the here and now of life.  But is this simple idea really possible?   

Yesterday, as I sat outside in the lovely cool  morning sunshine to read a bit of God's Word,         2 John 5-6 spoke so loudly to me.  

Listen to this!!

"And now, DEAR LADY," (wow!!  I've never heard that before.  It's always about brethren and dudes) "I am not writing you a new commandment, but one we had from the beginning.  I ask that we love one another.  And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands.  As you have heard from the beginning, His command is that you walk in love." 

So, there was that obedience issue again.  I'm getting the feeling, that if I really want to be right where he wants me to be, the key to all of this is to just do what he wants me to do, with no hesitation.  Yes, how very simple!!  

Today, I bake.

So yesterday morning, I lovingly and excitedly(and I'll admit it, kind of nervously) baked that loaf of bread.  I walked it over, rang the bell, and was hit with no smile, but a stern "I don't want to talk to you", and a door slam.  I can tell you that I was sad, because of a life so bound up by bitterness and hate. But another part of me felt free, joyful and satisfied!  And as I walked back to my house, bread in hand, I felt the pleasure of the Lord toward me because I partnered with him in showing His love to my fellow man, no matter the outcome.   

I hope and pray this revelation is anchored way down in my being...To simply do what He asks, whatever it looks like, for I'm beginning to see that this is where all the longing for that 'fire to never die'   will come. 

Bread...My Old Friend

I have an addiction, there I said it. That's the first step in recovery right? Well, mine was bread, and pasta, and pizza, AND PIZZA well, anything that contains flour.  Oh gosh, just mentioning those things sends a craving though my body and makes my mouth water.  I mean, a crusty bread with some delectable cheeses and a good glass of wine??  Heaven right there!!   But, for years now, I have been feeling terrible, wanting to blame all my achey joints on nearing....yeah, 50.  And of course I had a nice "out" again, to say my weight gain was all because of getting older.

Well, for a little over a month, my home has gone through a "Degraining". (I like to make up words)  My daughter is very gluten intolerant, and a lot of the issues she was experiencing, I had but just didn't want to think that maybe I should cut out gluten also. There was NO WAY I was going to give up my pizza and beer nights!! So on with my hobbling and on with hating my aching elbows and other joints, and on with my bloated gut. (Sorry so blatant, I'm just honest)   Then.... my daughter-in-law, who for various reasons, started a "grain-free" and "refined sugar free" diet, immediately seeing results!  Well gosh, if she could do this, (and my son who joined her to cheer her on) I thought maybe I should give it a try.

Our first official grain-free meal~

Cobb Salad.  

I never thought I could. Or maybe, it was because I didn't want to deprive myself.  

I deserve to be happy! 

That was my battle, and really the only battle, believing "I could".  But starting this new lifestyle, wasn't so bad, and I actually was excited about the thoughts of putting only healthy, whole foods in my body.  I too, along with my husband, did see improvements within a short time!  To date, I've lost 15 pounds, and honestly, my joints don't hurt like they used to.  I have more energy as well as not feeling like I'm in a fog most of the day! And my husband is enjoying eating this way...so there's no excuse men!!!

My cart from our favorite store, Trader Joe's!!

It brings us together, and this makes me happy.

My son and his family live close by us (one street over close).  So on many days, I get a text from my daughter-in-law, "Hey, are you home?" and visa versa.  I can expect a little sampling of one of the delicious new recipes showing up on my door step.  This has brought us closer, something that makes my heart so happy!   

I did purchase the book "Against All Grain" which has become my kitchen bible.  (God, yours still takes first place, so no worries)  I got my copy on Amazon.  The author also has a website which is really helpful.  www.againstallgrain.com  A food processor is a must.  Other than that, your normal stocked kitchen should work just fine.  

My loaf of "World Famous Bread" 

from Against All Grain

There are a few negatives, well, just adjustments really.   Meals aren't always quick, and when you're hungry, really hungry, this sucks!  So planning ahead is a good tip.   Also, snacks need to be made by hand.  There doesn't seem to many "prepared foods" available to purchase.  But honestly, I have been loving making grain-free crackers, muffins, scones and even bread!  One more thing, is the cost. Buying healthy, and then also grain-free ingredients are pricey.  BUT,  we don't buy prefab food filled with preservatives or GMO's, chips, soda, and all the other crap that is a KILLER for your body and mind!!!  Whoa, got a little bit preachy there...but hey, it's truth!

We do go out and eat, which we love doing, although not as much anymore.  But if we do, we have found more and more restaurants are amping up their menus with gluten-free items.  Grain-free is a bit more challenging, but most places are very accommodating and even help create that meal you desire!

Happy me after eating Fish Tacos 

(just the filling) 

at a local restaurant. 

I won't say I'm perfect.  Anyone who knows me, knows I love beer, so occasionally I'll have one, (gluten-free beer just tastes like swamp water)  and from time-to-time I might slip a Chick-Fil-A nugget in my mouth.  But all that is just once in a while.

 For my husbands birthday, (yup 53, ouch), I made some yummy 

Snicker doodle cupcakes!

 And YES...I STILL EAT PIZZA, 

(GLORY TO GOD!! lol) 

with a grain-free crust of course.

It's Friday!! So what's better than welcoming spring with grilled burgers in the backyard? The buns were great, having that nutty flavor, but did fall apart a bit, as was stated in the recipe book. 

Everything I've made so far, especially my currant scones, were very, very delish!! We are enjoying creating healthy and good for ya food!

TGIF lovely people!!

 

I    

33 Years & Dreams of Mine

Yesterday, January 31st, my husband and I celebrated our 33rd anniversary! 

This year of 2014 sure has dealt us a crazy hand of challenges, emotional and physical,  

to most of our large family.  But by God's grace, we are starting to come though and 

get to the other side.  So celebrating our anniversary yesterday, which consisted of 

going out to dinner, was a much needed break to just relax, eat some delicious food, 

drink a bit of good wine, and just enjoy each others company.  

We are truly blessed and take pride in the fact that we can say we've been 

married this long.  These days, it really is an accomplishment!  So hooray!!!

Happy 33rd Anniversary to us!!

Now on to some artsy stuff...

Some people paint lovely portraits or beautiful, tranquil scenes of hills and mountains. 

Then there's me.  I paint messes,

 and I love it.  

It may look like kindergarten art class, but to me, this form of art lets me 

color outside the lines, is freeing.  There is no right or wrong, and I need that right now.

Just paint.  But although there is no planned out trees, no ships or birds, 

there still is thought, placement, a bit planning. 

Dreams of Mine 

12 x 12 mixed media on canvas 

Little peaks of bright colors come though the muted foreground.

Glimpses of buried dreams, emerging through the dullness that masks a life. 

These are dreams of mine,

ones that will come.

For a more in-depth tutorial on the creation of this piece, you can visit:

www.bordersbegoneart.blogspot.com 

  

Happy Saturday lovely people!!

Those Blue Eyes

This week has proven to be one of the most challenging ones that our family has had to face in a long time.  Our oldest son was in a head-on collision Sunday night.  It's something, that when you hear the news, you go numb.  That happened.  

We had just gotten done celebrating my mom's 73rd birthday at a restaurant about 30 minutes away from the hospital where they had taken him.  The drive, crazy.  My mind, crazy as well.  We didn't know what to expect, as we weren't told much, only that "it was bad".   

The room was filled, cries, clutching, bad smells, people waiting and then some more.  Finally, I went back, I had to be strong, on the way and as I looked down.  Those words faintly spoken, "I'm sorry, I love you mom."  He was alive!  Those words gave me strength, hope, and yet too, I feared and felt lost, broken.   

There is so much I could say about those hours and days that have followed that night. What I do want to write is how faithful God is, in everyway.  He cares.  Some tiny, some big ways, some seen, most not.

That couple who happen to live where the accident was, come out and pray with our son immediately, stayed until the paramedics came.  Bless them!!  

His truck.  Demolished.  That space where he sat, too small.  How could anyone possibly NOT have been immediately taken to the other side?  He is ALIVE!!

Faithfulness again, as families that were somewhat fragmented, stitched back together with God-strong cord.  

And again, when pheumonia was "inevitable".  Well, not this time, not with our God. 

Really, the least of our worries, funds, we say "paid in full", because "He owns cattle on a thousand hills." 

Sitting in a chair? with a broken hip? all bones in his leg too?  It's coming...that fast healing is coming!

A new lease on life, in every way.  Clean, bright, hope-filled.

...and those eyes, blue and beautiful, that we can look into, safe still. 


Has it been hard?  A big an understatement.  The not knowing, the stress fueled by lack of sleep can cut deep.  It's all hard.  But really, how blessed we are!  We have life!  We have each other, family, good friends who have gone the extra mile and more & more, warm hospital nurses, time, love. We get laughing moments in the room, he still cracks jokes. Smiles from the kids seen for the first time, hugs, and love, handmade cards.  It's hard and joy-filled, and tiring and satisfying, knowing that we are there, we help, we extend grace and love in ways we can.   

 Life can be uncertain, yet we hold onto The One who is as certain and sure as the sun rising each day.  

It's only been a week, seems like longer, but progress is made each day, and our son will walk again, build again like he loves, and be stronger in so many ways than we could ever imagine.  We all will be.  

A Flurry of Goodness

With the holidays here, my blogging has been pretty non-existent.  With just starting this new blog, 

I didn't want that to happen.  BUT, that's life and now I carry on!!!  

That's one thing this year I'm going to try to work on... 

B e   E a s y   O n   M y s e l f!

  

This year was especially wonderful.  Our daughter came home from Hawaii, as well as her boyfriend Shea, to stay for one week this Christmas.  I am so grateful for the time we do get together now that she is living so far away.  This photo shows just how much love is shared between our family.  The grand kids love being together, and love holidays, especially all the goodies!!   

I just had to post a picture of the most wonderful & delicious thing I make at Christmas...

Rosemary Shortbread Cookies.

These little gems are so delicate yet are full of rosemary flavor.  

My daughter is eating Gluten Free, so unlike the usual shortbread recipe I use, I found

the best mix ever, Bob's Red Mill Gluten-Free Shortbread Cookie Mix.   The cookies were perfect!!  

    What could be more perfect than all of our 

F I V E children being together for Christmas!! 

With our daughter living so far away, and all of our son's & daughter-in-law's lives so busy and full, we are grateful for this holiday that is made so special by all of them able to be here for Christmas.  

This make all our hearts so very full!

Pictured from left to right:

David, Chris, Lizzie, Andrew and Daniel 

"Five months...hello, five months!!"

(If you've seen Father of the Bride, you know that line!)

WELL...Lizzie and Shea got engaged while here!

This was the most delightful 

happening of the season.

We are now diving into wedding planning as they are looking at a  spring wedding here in North Carolina!! 

  Now that the holidays are over, and we can put our feet up and breathe a bit.

Dean had the most meaningful idea of writing out what we are thankful for that happened in 2013.  

Sometimes life hands you situations and experiences that are not what you had hoped for.  Bottom line, some things just really suck.  BUT, listing those things that 

WERE GOOD and BLESSINGS, written down with a thankful heart, 

is an avenue that then the Lord can use to send that miracle that you are looking for and make you aware of all those things in your life that are so very great.   

This Grateful List is hand written & a bit sloppy,  but hangs on our refrigerator to remind us of ALL that the Lord HAS blessed us with...bottom line, it is much.  

My hope, is that 2014 will be one that draws us closer to Jesus, in those small ways,

and the ones that are extravagant, and that HIS purposes will be fulfilled in ALL of our lives!!