The Zucchini Bread Rebellion

When this certain song comes on in the car, I sing loud, for this is one of my
greatest desires and I want it the anthem
of my life...

"As we grow old, may it be told, 

that we never lost our flame".  

Over the passed few months, I've noticed with much aching, that passion has grown cold in my heart.  Certain passions that I have desired for all of my "saved life", ones that at various times would make my heart burn with such intensity, wanting them to stick around forever.  A few of them are the intense fire of the Lord, a drive to be right in the center of his will, to see and do all that He is asking me to do in this life, and to witness the awesome fruit that they would produce.  Isn't this what He created me, or really all of us, to hunger for and do?  Isn't this the greatest thing we could possibly attain in this life, to be so completely absorbed by Him that we couldn't help but look and smell and act like the very essence of Him?  God I want that....but why oh why, does that desire rise and fall like the surety of each and every tide?  I need it to stay, and I need to know how to do that. I need that passion to come back, and never leave.

I've had it stuck in my head that just maybe, some great adventure to a far away land or the next big avenue that the Lord was going to hopefully take us down, would be the key to arousing and producing this passion, and that "thing", whatever it was, should be the center of His will.  Well, could it be, that where I'm at right now, truly be that place I've been so longing for...in the day-to-day living, in a rental community that I swore "I could never live in", in grocery shopping days, or helping family members in times of need, or the many other seemingly mundane things we do, be found to hold the satisfaction, passion, and the place of knowing I AM exactly in the center of His will?  

And now can't you just see how this all correlates to a delicious loaf of homemade zucchini bread?!??  Well, I'm beginning to see, ever so slowly, that maybe, just maybe, this joy will come in knowing that ALL aspects of life, can hold what my heart so desperately is longing for.  But, there's a BIG IF with that, IF we are obedient to do what the Holy Spirit calls us to do, no matter how small or insignificant or crazy it might look and sound.

Brave Love...this is easy!

Last November, I went to a conference with my daughter out in sunny California called Brave Love. It was incredible to say the least.  One of the exercises was to ask God what He wanted Brave Love to look like in each of our lives, you know, ask him what He wanted us to do, big or small, grand or not.  I got two things right away, to start a blog...hence this one, that I could be real and raw about life and God.  Bam, done.  The second, was to bake a loaf of zucchini bread for my neighbor.  Not a hard one!  I loved to bake and be nice to people. Another Bam...lol, or so I thought.  

Through some happenings, a very bad incident occurred which caused our neighbor to turn on us, very badly turn.  The kind where you feel you just got sucker punched, all in front of our grand kids, who in turn cried horribly due to fear. Shock, disbelief.  Ha!!...There goes the zucchini bread idea.  Well, let me just tell you, God doesn't ask you to do something just when things are all fluffy and nice. Sometimes He requires it when it's uncomfortable and really goes against your flesh. 

So did I bake that nice loaf of bread and rush it right over to her??  Heck no!!  Me in all my stubbornness and bit of fear, refused. I would reassure myself with, "I mean how could I now?? Things are now so bad between us!" So December came, then January, February...and now it's May.  

This passed week, I went to a Jesus Culture concert and a question was asked, "Is there anything standing between you and God...any walls?"  Well again, like the hundred others times, God said those two repetitive words, "Zucchini Bread".  I KNEW I had to do this. What this all really boiled down to, was disobedience.  This was the wall that was in the way, of me having that JOY and PASSION for the life that God was trying to give me, and have that life not in the "next big adventure", but in the here and now of life.  But is this simple idea really possible?   

Yesterday, as I sat outside in the lovely cool  morning sunshine to read a bit of God's Word,         2 John 5-6 spoke so loudly to me.  

Listen to this!!

"And now, DEAR LADY," (wow!!  I've never heard that before.  It's always about brethren and dudes) "I am not writing you a new commandment, but one we had from the beginning.  I ask that we love one another.  And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands.  As you have heard from the beginning, His command is that you walk in love." 

So, there was that obedience issue again.  I'm getting the feeling, that if I really want to be right where he wants me to be, the key to all of this is to just do what he wants me to do, with no hesitation.  Yes, how very simple!!  

Today, I bake.

So yesterday morning, I lovingly and excitedly(and I'll admit it, kind of nervously) baked that loaf of bread.  I walked it over, rang the bell, and was hit with no smile, but a stern "I don't want to talk to you", and a door slam.  I can tell you that I was sad, because of a life so bound up by bitterness and hate. But another part of me felt free, joyful and satisfied!  And as I walked back to my house, bread in hand, I felt the pleasure of the Lord toward me because I partnered with him in showing His love to my fellow man, no matter the outcome.   

I hope and pray this revelation is anchored way down in my being...To simply do what He asks, whatever it looks like, for I'm beginning to see that this is where all the longing for that 'fire to never die'   will come.