Conquering Fear, Hearing God....and Aerosmith

It's June, 2018. The last time I wrote was early 2016. Not good. I've drifted away from a thing that really speaks to me, and hopefully to you. Writing. Wonderful and meaningful thoughts, seem to be come easier for me when I write them down. I'd love to be an eloquent speaker and for people to hang on every word I utter, but somewhere between my head and coming out my mouth, the beautifully expressed thoughts exit like a puff of smoke, vaporizing. Soooo, here I am again. No pacts, just me now trying to be more intentional to write.

Conquering Fear, Hearing God...
and Aerosmith.

Our pastor Byron asked me if I would consider doing the transition between the worship and sermon. I laughed, maybe not out loud, but in my spirit. The last thing that was on my radar was to speak, and especially in front of a huge group of people.

I saw him in the Walmart parking lot so naturally I stopped to say hello. We seem to run into each other at a grocery store a lot. Anyway, he said he was thinking about something a few days earlier. And, there it was, speaking. God has been pushing me out of my very comfortable, Barcalounger zone again.  The first was with Journey Tribe, the newly formed young adult group, which he asked me to lead, and now this. Well, I told him I'd pray about it and he responded with "All you need is 30 seconds to get a yes or a no." Yup, he was right, on this one.

Some decisions, I've learned, take a little, or a lot, of seeking out.  Let's take Journey Tribe for instance.  I had to really learn to listen to the voice of God, which came in so many crazy awesome out-of-the box ways.  This in turn, really built up my faith and it shouted YES, I do hear the voice of God!  It came when Byron talked to me about it all and said "think blank canvas, one layer at a time" (I'm an artist so BAM, this resonated in me), it came through songs, it came through a red cardinal, it came through my thoughts, which are HIS thoughts, and through certain peoples' words to me who had no idea of what I was contemplating.  During this process, I purposely didn't talk to Dean for a long time about it, or ask others to pray.  I've relied on others to be my ears, have hid behind people too long and I needed to get the answer on my own.  The journey of me getting to that YES built my faith and confidence that I do hear God, and that's HUGE for me.

But this next request didn't need weeks for an answer, although I left our little Walmart encounter saying I'd pray about it. On my way home, thinking about all this, I asked myself why I wouldn't want to do it.  The answer was there again, FEAR.  It always seems to throw it's ugly head up and STOP what God wants to do though me. It's killed dreams, kept me paralyzed, frozen, kept the focus on ME, silenced my voice of words that have got to come out, actions that need to be done, love that is dying to be spread.  Fear almost kept me from agreeing to take on the young adults. I was "planning my escape" before it even happened! What's your biggest fear? NAME IT...repent of it, then kill it.

Recognition was the first step. Then repentance. This thing, my life and what God has called me to, really isn't about me anyway, it's all about HIM!  So if it truly is about Him, then why wouldn't I believe that the God of the universe, the one who made the heavens & earth, the sun, stars, the oceans and hills, the one who can save a soul, the one who with just one word can calm a stormy sea, or with one breath, breathe life into dust, how could HE NOT be there for me- giving me the words to say, or the song to be sung?  Oh me of little faith...BUT, it's growing.

Last Sunday, we killed FEAR.

This Sunday, I killed it.

Saturday night. Dean and I prayed before we fell asleep, that God would be God and be with us Sunday morning, and also that he would give us wisdom and dreams as we slept. When I awoke in the night, and tried to go back to sleep, all I could see was the face of a lion. Over and over and over. My Lion, the Lion of Judah. And that Lion? He's roaring over fear, roaring over dead dreams and promises you thought were lost. Can you hear him?

Sunday morning. I opened the service, yes, with my voice a little shaky, but I spoke and He met me. Then, I helped transition the service, Dean and I together. AND, I sang. I SANG! Probably off key, but hey, in front of the whole church? I hadn't planned that, or any of what I said, but He gave the song, He gave the words. I just needed to say Yes.

God used the group Aerosmith.  

In my teen aged years, I was searching for something, anything to fill this Grand Canyon sized hole in my heart. Like many people, I tried filling it with anything that came along that seemed like it was the cure, people, illegal things, and so much more. During those years, the 70's, secular music was a big part of my life and needless to say, was played at every party thrown on the weekends. This certain song, Dream On, was on top. Well, the years passed and after I gave my life to Jesus, I put away that kind of music. But from time to time, I would hear it and immediately it would throw me back to those day, filled with all the guilt, shame, loneliness and pain. Now fast forward. Dean and I took a little Saturday road trip to the mountains, in his convertible. Sun shining, top down, feeling good. As we drove, that song started. But crazy....this time God spoke through Steven Tyler....YES!! Dream on!! Dream until your dreams come true!! And guess what?? YUP...God had me share about this experience during the transition time, a theme that was woven through the worship time, through me...actually singing my rendition of the the chorus, and through what our pastor spoke about. Tell me God doesn't use ANYTHING to speak to us. How very cool is that.

Will I battle fear again, probably. There will always be situations in life that seems too big, too scary, situations that you think you'll make a fool out of yourself, but if you just remember that it truly is ALL about God, that He will be right beside you, and if you just show up and say YES, that faith will kick in, your confidence will get built up, and fear will start to leave and retreat back to it's origin, the pit. Now that's a glory moment!

"She's not dead, she's just sleeping, and she is WAKING UP"

JONATHAN HELSER 

I'm so grateful to actually start seeing areas in my life that are changing, for the better!  Words that have been spoken over me, things I've prayed for, are happening. Confidence, faith, my true identity, healing from disappointments, dead areas in my life, they all are aligning with who I was created after, and God is the one who gets all the credit.

This might not be some big, new revelation to some, but it's huge to me and where I'm at, and I wanted to share it with you in hopes that you'll be blessed.  

Just say YES and Dream On!

OH....and I re-read my earlier entries, they're not bad!  You might get touched by the previous one entitled "10 Years in Heaven".

Have a teriffic Tuesday 

and Peace to YOU my friends!!